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01 August 2012 @ 08:40 pm
Why do we fall?  
Characters: Angel and Barbara
Time: Afternoon
Location: Angel's Mansion
Thread Status: Open to Barbara

"I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt right now angel, but don't think I'm looking the other way. I'm watching you, and if you fuck this up… If you hurt her again… Sam will want to stake you, and I will not have any problem whatsoever in helping to accomplish that. She's been through enough because of you.. you do what I'm guessing you're gonna do again.. there may be no coming back for her. Tread carefully Angel."

The bleached blonde vampires words still echoed in his head, and Angel couldn't help himself from growling deep in his throat.

He knew that the vampire was right in his wording, but that really didn't mean that he had to like what was coming out of his mouth, or like the fact that they were directed completely at him. Hitting him straight in the heart as if it were an actual stake.

But he didn't want to hurt her. He didn't want to become Angelus again, that was one of the things he would always regret.. He would always regret the way that Angelus had treated the beautiful little vampire.

He turned toward her, about to speak, but he felt as if his voice was stuck in his throat.

Now see this here, this was one of the problems when it came down to being Angel. Whenever things got tense with someone that he really truly cared about, he got completely tongue tied. He never knew what to say, and if he spoke, he basically became a stupid bumbling idiot again. He became a drunk teenager that was never good at speaking his heart. Well he was, but, it didn't always bode well for him.

Something always went wrong.

Taking in a deep breath, he moved toward his childe and gently wrapped her up in his arms. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head, burying her nose into her hair as he gently ran his fingers through the silky strands.

"He's not wrong about wanting to feel that way about me.." he whispered. "he's anything but wrong, for once in his life, Spike is actually right and it scares me." he admitted. "I hate the fact that Angelus looms over my head, that he could come back at any moment of pure happiness, and I know that somewhere down the line that it's going to hit us square in the face, and I really don't want that to happen for you. You've become… such a strong vampire.. such a strong woman.." he paused again. "And i'm so proud of that."

"I'm so proud of what you've become.. Angelus may not be happy with it, but there isn't a bone in Angel's body that isn't proud. You're beautiful, and you're strong, and you've left that little Kitten behind.." he heard a soft purr and laughed softly, "Okay, maybe not completely, but enough that she's not scared of the life that she lives. And… if Angelus comes out, he's going to destroy you, and I don't think i could handle that."

He pulled away, holding her at arms length and pushed some of her hair from her face, so that he could look at her. "I'm not good for you, Barbara. And it kills me to say that, because for years I have felt completely empty, not knowing what was wrong with me, until now.. until I finally saw your face again, and i knew what i had been missing.. i had been missing you. It'll kill me if he comes out and hurts you.. I wouldn't be able to live with it."
 
 
 
Barbara O'Connor: all of mechaoticxbarbara on September 5th, 2012 09:42 am (UTC)
Barbara was prepared for many things to come out of Angels mouth - alot of them excuses, alot of them reasons for this not to become something - to change his mind, to say that it had been the heat of the moment...she was prepared for all of that and more. What she wasn’t prepared for however was what actually happened. For Angel to admit that he wanted this just as much as she did, maybe even needed it, just as she knew she did. He admitted how scared he was - which she knew he was, she could feel it as if it was her fear, it made her blood pulse and her insides churn. It was okay that he was scared, thy could be scared together, it would be another first for them.

She had gone through alot of firsts with the vampire that stood before her....if she was to think about the bigger, more important ones now, she’d probably blush.

Her eyes snapped up toward him as he told her that he didn’t want her to stay here - to fight the fight that he felt she had no footing in - no reason to be fighting for. She felt her body tense, an anger building up in her core, whispering violent curses in the back of her mind. She knew that this was going to be a very big part of their relationship - him telling her what he thought was best, and just expecting her to know that his word was law.

“No fucking way.”

He’d also have to come to terms with the fact that they would fight about that alot. Control was not something she gave over lovingly and willingly anymore. Oh no, it was something that she had learned to grip onto for dear life, and if he wanted it - wanted her collared to him as she felt she knew that he did - he’d have to not only fight for that power, he’d have to rip it out of her.

Angel blinked at her for a moment, she had effectively stunned him into silence, no was not something was obviously accustomed to hearing, not from his women anyway. That was always how he liked his women, soul or no soul, small and submissive. Men never change, lucky for Barbara, woman are more adaptable than that.

“I came here for a reason,” She quickly amended her previous tone, the words had just fallen out of her mouth, maybe too much time with Spike. She had developed quite the vocabulary in his absence, as well as a naturally cockiness. She was sure Angel would have a word or two to say toward her peroxide sibling in that retrospect. She almost wished she was would be there to witness it - almost. “Spikes...helped me out a lot in my time.” Alot more than you have, she added subconsciously and silently. “And this...this means something to him. He’s not going to walk away...I came here for a reason - you can call me crazy or whatever, but I feel like this is where we need to be.”

That was a lie of course, this is where Sam needed to be. She had been having dreams - vivid, mind-altering dreams that had led her to the decision of being here - bringing Sam here. It wasn’t something she had admitted to anyone. When she spoke those words, she had broken eye contact. The idea of being away from Sam though...it wasn’t something she could think of without an incredibly broken heart. She couldn’t make sense of her dreams...if this is where Sam needed to be, that meant it was where she needed to be...so why had Angel come here now?

What were the powers trying to tell her?
Barbara O'Connorchaoticxbarbara on September 5th, 2012 09:43 am (UTC)
“I understand your concern really I do, but there’s no way we’re leaving. Not until this is over anyway...I’ll..” She ran her hand through her hair, trying to think, she couldn’t get her thoughts straight. Leaved it to Angel to throw a monkey-wrench it what was a perfectly-planned death wish. Fuck.

“I’ll come to Los Angelos after....once I’m sure..that...everything here is fine...”

She managed a glance at him and she was almost forced into a stand-still at the gaze that sent a chill right down her spine. Right...she’d have to work on that, maybe the time apart would be good...give her a chance to get alot of her rebellion out... yeah...she was sure that was a good idea.... She was also very sure that he did not, in any sense of the word, agree with her. He was boring down at her....right.. he was going to take some well...convincing. After all...it wasn’t everyday a souless pair of vampires show up in hopes to help save the day - or world...or what have you...

“I’m soulless, not a monster...and besides...” and she paused for a moment, and continued with a very Angelus statement. “If the world is going to end, it’s either going to me pulling the trigger, or me trying to stop the jackass whose trying to steal my glory.”

It took all of her strength not to close her eyes or turn away at this point...especially after she heard a small snarl building at the back of Angels throat. Right.

Time to see what the two of them were made of.