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01 August 2012 @ 08:40 pm
Why do we fall?  
Characters: Angel and Barbara
Time: Afternoon
Location: Angel's Mansion
Thread Status: Open to Barbara

"I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt right now angel, but don't think I'm looking the other way. I'm watching you, and if you fuck this up… If you hurt her again… Sam will want to stake you, and I will not have any problem whatsoever in helping to accomplish that. She's been through enough because of you.. you do what I'm guessing you're gonna do again.. there may be no coming back for her. Tread carefully Angel."

The bleached blonde vampires words still echoed in his head, and Angel couldn't help himself from growling deep in his throat.

He knew that the vampire was right in his wording, but that really didn't mean that he had to like what was coming out of his mouth, or like the fact that they were directed completely at him. Hitting him straight in the heart as if it were an actual stake.

But he didn't want to hurt her. He didn't want to become Angelus again, that was one of the things he would always regret.. He would always regret the way that Angelus had treated the beautiful little vampire.

He turned toward her, about to speak, but he felt as if his voice was stuck in his throat.

Now see this here, this was one of the problems when it came down to being Angel. Whenever things got tense with someone that he really truly cared about, he got completely tongue tied. He never knew what to say, and if he spoke, he basically became a stupid bumbling idiot again. He became a drunk teenager that was never good at speaking his heart. Well he was, but, it didn't always bode well for him.

Something always went wrong.

Taking in a deep breath, he moved toward his childe and gently wrapped her up in his arms. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head, burying her nose into her hair as he gently ran his fingers through the silky strands.

"He's not wrong about wanting to feel that way about me.." he whispered. "he's anything but wrong, for once in his life, Spike is actually right and it scares me." he admitted. "I hate the fact that Angelus looms over my head, that he could come back at any moment of pure happiness, and I know that somewhere down the line that it's going to hit us square in the face, and I really don't want that to happen for you. You've become… such a strong vampire.. such a strong woman.." he paused again. "And i'm so proud of that."

"I'm so proud of what you've become.. Angelus may not be happy with it, but there isn't a bone in Angel's body that isn't proud. You're beautiful, and you're strong, and you've left that little Kitten behind.." he heard a soft purr and laughed softly, "Okay, maybe not completely, but enough that she's not scared of the life that she lives. And… if Angelus comes out, he's going to destroy you, and I don't think i could handle that."

He pulled away, holding her at arms length and pushed some of her hair from her face, so that he could look at her. "I'm not good for you, Barbara. And it kills me to say that, because for years I have felt completely empty, not knowing what was wrong with me, until now.. until I finally saw your face again, and i knew what i had been missing.. i had been missing you. It'll kill me if he comes out and hurts you.. I wouldn't be able to live with it."
 
 
 
Barbara O'Connor: never endchaoticxbarbara on September 7th, 2012 05:57 am (UTC)
She chewed on her lip as Angel saw right through her, how could he possibly know that's how he felt about Sam. She shook her head, willing away his words as she turned away from him. She didn't want to believe him - and couldn't believe the disgusting things she was saying about Spike, and about her childe. She felt her body tense, the core of her body tightening with the anger she had just never managed to get a very good grasp on.

She supposed it was what gave her part of her charm...in less than normal social rings anyway.

Barbara cocked her head to the side as she turned toward him, he certainly had some pent up emotions about the Slayer now didn't he? She raised an eyebrow as she looked at him as he tried to explain himself as best as possible. It was kind of cute really, seeing how much he cared, he was giving into something Angelus never did - talking. She smirked a bit, this was certainly something new.

Something she had always secretly dreamed about.

She crossed her arms slowly as she took him in...he was sweet, that's for sure. He knew all the right words to say, she'd be melting inside if she was about a century younger. The years had not been kind to Barbara as far as her mental state - she had grown inverted and guarded, she seemed to be wary of everything - everyone. She felt each year weigh on her as if it was a thousand pounds, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't let anyone in, couldn't get close to anyone. Even Sam - there was a distance there that she just had never been able to shake, a wall she put between the two of them.

She had trained her childe not to need her for a reason, because she couldn't be what Sam needed, wanted. She couldn't get close to anyone, there was just...too many walls.

So when the dreams started and the voices kept telling her about where Sam needed to be, she had thought...well, this is it. She more or less knew she was going to die...and a large part of her was afraid...

She guessed she just doesn't mind much.

She was tired....tired of looking for something that didn't exist. The way she was living...it just wasn't doing it for her. She felt flawed...broken..At least this way she could go out doing something - something important. She could be part of something amazing...she didn't reckon she deserved it much but something told her Sam was gonna wind up here no matter what she had done. She was just the kind of girl to just roll with the punches.

She stared blankly at Angel and felt a familiar chill run to her un-beating heart. Words were nice, sweet and sugar coated. Angelus had always been good at talkin' when he took to it. Didn't take much, it was always the one thing he did that hit Barbara harder than anything else he had done. She'd rather take a punch over one of his ever-so charming lines that make her dead heart want to race only to turn out to be a lie in the end. That was a dangerous skill.

To bathe your lies in such sweet sugar.

Words were nice, actions you could believe....but she so wanted to believe his words. She glanced toward the boards in which sunlight was shining through only hours before. It seemed to be setting, a warm sunset wafting through the ply-boards. Where had the time gone?

"You dated a girl named ....'Buffy'?" She finally said, making Angel give her a kind of confused look for a moment that that was the first thing to fall out of her mouth. "I mean I knew she was a slayer and that was bad enough but to have her be named something so...cheerleader-e..really Angel." She looked at him for a moment. "She's not...blonde is she?"

A moment of silence and a slightly guilty look in her eyes told Barbara all she needed to know.

Oh Angel Baby...that's a new kind of low.
Barbara O'Connorchaoticxbarbara on September 7th, 2012 05:58 am (UTC)
"I stand by what I said Angel." She whispered, shaking off the previous awkward moment, her voice unsure, quivering. There was a small smile on her lips, just a shadow of one as she glanced toward the door. Inspiration struck. "I'm staying here, and if you really believe I shoudn't be here you're just going to have tie me up and drag me to whatever seemingly safe place you have in mind because there's no way in hell I'm coming willingly."

Time to see if Angel had lost any of his sharpened skills in their absence...she had always been able to give Angelus a paticularly good chase if she wanted too. This wasn't going to be one of their cross country hunts, but still...

It was always one of their favorite games.

It'd been awhile since she played it, Sam was too well behaved. She grinned to herself, and wondered if she'd pick up the game with Spike.... There really wasn't anything quite like Vampiric love.

She was out of the door before her Sire could blink and was gone into the shadows within a matter of moments.